Assisted living facilities are the place to go in your senior plus years. It's the safe spot to keep you out of a skilled nursing facility. Those words "nursing home" were what my dad made me promise to keep him out of. Later, after I really experienced a nursing home for a brief visit, (rehab-it wasn't for me), I completely understood why. They are tough places to have to hang out in. I'm sorry for the folks who have to be there. Sometimes the medical conditions leave no choice. I am sorry for the people who suffer like this.
Personally, I have had some good and bad experiences at assisted living facilities. I have experienced three places with my parents. I was called out a bit on my previous blog so I am editing it and adding these positive thoughts.
I have experienced the most WONDERFUL people who worked at an assisted living where my parents were. I did have some really good care. These people worked night and day tirelessly. I felt so much love and concern from them for our family. I felt my folks were safe (code at the front door in and out) and loved. This was such a positive time. They had many family activities. There was lots of community volunteer involvement too. You probably wonder why we moved Mom from there??? It boils down to leadership changes, firing of some of my favorite employees, and lack of care. She was just sleeping all the time and not engaged. We thought she would do more activities at this new spot. So, we gambled she would do well with this move and have a better quality of life. It worked for a while. I have experienced some AMAZING people working in this new place also. It is just I have not had enough time to truly appreciate them. They will know at some point, I do, always, eventually, in the end, show them how much I appreciate them.
Unfortunately, most assisted livings are NOT secure environments. The new place my mom moved to did not have the code. It was a concern for us. But, Mom had never wandered out alone before. We were told hall doors are locked, and the front door was covered by a receptionist. But, unfortunately again, that wasn't necessarily true. The hall doors could be pushed right open...no alarm or anything. Mom did take a couple walks out those doors in her confusion. Sadly, it the final walk that was the one that just sent her to the memory care unit. I think this walk was right out the front door in broad daylight. But, no way to document it we are told. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining on the lake outside, and it was a short walk down the parking lot and off the property. The key word is OFF. It wasn't even 1/8 of a mile I think...but enough. My advice, in this world today, go with a really secure place...a code at the front door, in and out. In light of recent violent acts, think about that there are drugs and defenseless people in these places...better to be safe than sorry.
As for medical care, well, it has been hit and miss. Obviously, it is assisted living. It isn't supposed to be perfect in that area. I must remind myself of that. I had some great help with my dad who had Parkinson's at one facility. It's hard to judge now, because Mom hasn't too many ailments except for her brain disease. They do a really good job of dispensing drugs...if that's all you are looking for.
In closing, I am entering a new phase now with her lock down life in a memory care unit. It's hard. I did not want this step to ever come. I cannot blame the assisted living world because of my unrealistic expectations. I understand their liability. Plus, they care about her safety. Her freedom might just mean a loss for us all. I just need to focus on Mom. I am losing her still...it really stinks.
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