The Journey Begins...

     I remember the day clearly in my mind…it was the day I came to the reality that my mom was “losing it” or should I say, her mind was slipping. My dad had been telling me for months she was having memory problems. I just didn’t see it.  I talked to her daily, saw her often, and she still seemed mentally sharp to me. I thought any 70 year old woman who still worked a full-time job as a professional, must be doing pretty well in the brain department.

    Well, on this particular day, my brother and his daughters were in town. We packed up my three kids and his and picked up Mom to take them all to the beach. On the car ride, I remember Mom asking Jenna, my daughter, about her recent school trip out of town. Jenna said she went with the chorus. Mom had been to some of her chorus concerts and enjoyed them. It wasn’t but five minutes later, while still heading to the beach in the car, that Mom turned to Jenna and said, “Jenna, you sing so nice, you should be in a chorus.” There was dead silence in the car as shock at her comment settled in on all of us. It was a defining moment because in one brief moment, I could finally see what my dad was living…her memory was going.

     I guess I should have seen it coming. He had been telling me...but, like all of us, we don't WANT to believe it. Yet, I had started to see weird signs of a different woman. For example, my birthday lunch came that year and her gift bag contained a candle that looked like it had been used....hmmm...Mom was the ultimate gift card great birthday gift lady. I was puzzled that day.

     Also, confusion with work and friends had started. At work, her co-worker told me she had short term memory lapses with cases they were handling. Then, she became mad at a close friend for something that she "thought" she did or said. It was weird because Mom was so good to her friends and always believed the best of them. I could not get this relationship issue and, once again, felt like I was dealing with a new mother.

    So, back to that day at the beach, it was a real beginning for me. That day, my brother and I got the courage to talk to her on the beach about her memory and what we had just experienced. As soon as we returned back to the house, Mom told our dad to call the doctor so she could get on some memory meds. He seemed relieved...the truth was out, and we were "believers" now...that we were losing Mom...not to a physical death but to a death of the mind...Alzheimer's. This journey is one I am now taking, desired or not, because she is my mom, and even if she does not remember...I do, and I love her dearly.