Now it's losing "Moms"

     I was blessed to live close to my mom and my mother-in-law. While my own mother was a "working woman", having a career outside the home, my mother-in-law worked equally as hard being a full-time homemaker. She was really the best cook, best hostess, best manager, best just about EVERYTHING. I grew to love and appreciate the homemaking skills she taught me, and the amazing woman she was. She also helped me often with my little ones, and my children just adore their "Nana".      
     Like my own mom, Nana A. loved to give special gifts and never forgot a birthday or holiday. She also tried to do fun activities with the kids, and she had the time during the week to really hang out with them and invest in their lives. She would attend sports games, concerts, and other events they participated in. She was the Week Day Nana while my mom was the Weekend Nana. My kids had the best of both worlds.
     She was a very socially active woman also. In the old days, she had a couple of bridge groups she was in, she had many activities with friends and her dear sister, Glenda, and traveled a lot. She and her favorite guy, Bruce "Papa", would take off in their RV for long trips to see the country. They also enjoyed weekends at their beach condo. Even in the later years when Papa got ill, and they moved to a retirement apartment, she stayed very busy with all the activities that were offered there. After Bruce passed away, Nana, had a new friend who she hung out with and did many activities with...parties, dancing, trips, etc. She was over 80 years but seemed to still be going strong...dressing sharp and mentally pretty sharp.
     I say all this because we began to "lose" Nana A. not too long after that, probably about three plus years ago. While my own mom had been struggling with Dementia for many years, the signs in my mom-in-law were really clear to me from the onset...because I knew them...personally. Of course, it was a long and drawn out discovery for my husband and his siblings. I watched in silence mostly, because it was too hard for me to see and experience yet again. It was really inconceivable that TWO great women could lose their mental faculties like this...it was heartbreaking actually. Nana A. was already in her 80's so the Alzheimer's began to move quickly through her brain...short term memory and sporadic long term memory...hallucinations and fabricated memories. It is all no picnic in the park. My sister-in-law got her to the Alzheimer's institute right away and was very proactive about her care. They got her on some memory medicine that did stablize her for a while.
     But, the biggest issue that was faced was that she was a widow and lived independently and even still drove herself places. It became clear to all that it was not safe for her to drive, and that she was not taking her medicines properly. Her friend moved away and help had to be hired to check on her daily. She took it hard when she was cut off from driving, but it was really hard when her friend moved away. She became more depressed and confused about things. Not too many months later, we had to move her to a new home where they would give her her medicines...she was just not safe living alone. She really likes her new place. The activities coordinator is a family friend, and she gets her involved as much as she can. Nana often calls and is confused if she is living there now for good...but, she always says she likes it there.
     Now, she is on two meds and cannot remember from minute to minute too many details. She still remembers her family, their faces, and loves us all. That is very comforting. My own mom is also at a similar place in the disease of Alzheimer's, even though having it longer. The two "Moms" are sweet, dear ladies...nobody like them in my world. They are not the women we once knew, but they are who they are. The disease has robbed them and robbed us of WHO we knew, and we all continue adjusting to these new moms....never stopping loving them just the same.