I haven't written in a while as I guess I have been too busy. I have had some rough days with my mom and just haven't wanted to share much. She is in that new stage of Alzheimer's that's not the fun one...the mean personality phase. My dad had been telling me she gets really mad at him. I have seen her go off on political things, etc., but she never really got mad at me, her "baby". Until over the last month, when she screamed and went off on me about her hair, moving, clothes, etc. I finally got a taste, an ugly one, of what he must go through maybe daily. You have to be careful what you say or she just goes ballistic. I know it must be so hard for him. She is just a wisp of the woman he married. She is more like a child now, and thankfully, I am good with kids. I have told him he can't give in to her, but he just wants to keep peace. I told him I am glad he is hard of hearing, because I think her constant barrage of talk would drive him crazy. It does me sometimes on my short day visits.
But, yesterday was a very good day. She didn't get mad. She gave in on getting a dress to Jenna's wedding and went shopping with me. She laughed and acted a semblance of normal. I almost thought I was out shopping with my old mom again! It was fun to finally find a dress that she liked and looked pretty in. Do I think she will actually come to the wedding in that dress? I don't know because she randomly backs out of social things now with colds, eye pain, headaches, and other imaginary illnesses. Will I be disappointed if she backs out? Yes! But, I am trying to have low, low, low expectations on this wedding and her attending. If she does...it's a bonus...if not, that's the life I have with Mom now. We all can't control this disease or what it is doing to her mind. I, personally, just have to enjoy the little things...like shopping with her and buying her a new dress...seeing her beautiful smile and feeling like I had her back again. That is enough for me.
